pets > humans

In keeping with the anti-humanity kick I've been on recently, and with my desire to get a dog (that will likely have to wait at least another year), here are some reasons off the top of my head why pets are often the best friends to hang out with. This list is basically tailored to dogs but I'm sure some items apply to other animals as well.

1. Pets accept you for who you are -- they don't make you feel bad if you say or do the wrong stuff.
2. If you call pets names or curse at them, they'll forgive you and still like you just as much as before.
3. Pets are always cool with just lounging about and doing nothing.
4. If you get mad at pets, they'll get over it in no time.
5. Pets are a lot lower-maintenance than most friends are.
6. Pets are a hell of a lot lower-maintenance than a significant other would be.
7. Pets are easy to please -- just give 'em food and attention every now and then and they're happy. (See #5 and #6.)
8. Pets don't cost as much money as humans. (Definitely see #6.)
9. Pets don't take up as much space as humans. (Again, see #6. I'll stop now.)
10. Pets always want to have fun.
11. Pets don't have a list of standards and expectations you have to meet. (Just kidding. See #6.)
12. Pets don't talk all the time and drive you nuts. (I'm starting to see why #6 doesn't apply to me.)
13. If pets are making noise, you can tell them to shut up and they'll actually shut up!
14. Pets always love you regardless of whether or not you happen to love them at the time.
15. Pets can be taught to do amazing tricks that most humans can't do.
16. Pets intuitively know how you're feeling and know how to make you feel better.
17. Pets never complain about anything. Or if they do, see #13.
18. Pets are predictable. (Whoa...you know it.)
19. Pets can be trained.
20. Pets will actually remember what you trained them.
21. Pets don't care how messy your place is.
22. Pets help you keep a place cleaner in that they make sure there is never food on the floor for more than a few minutes.
23. Pets make sure nothing is on your property that shouldn't be there.
24. Pets will always give away when they did something they know to be wrong.
25. Pets are better than humans at keeping secrets.
26. Pets will politely listen and pay attention to you without talking back or interrupting.
27. Pets are funnier to be around.
28. Pets don't mind acting stupid every now and then, and they don't care if you do either.

I'm sure there are more here that I'm not thinking of. And humans aren't all bad. But if I had to take one over the other to be surrounded by...that's too easy. I'd be buying a lot of dog food.