quotes overheard in the arkansas athletic department offices

5. "It's about time we matched the interference signals from that damn screen with the opponents' headset frequencies!"
4. "Now I bet if we add another 55,000 seats in Razorback Stadium we could be national champs!"
3. "You think they'd let us charge a pay-per-view toll on 540 whenever the stadium screen is on?"
2. "Why do they keep putting 'University of' in front of our state? It's almost like they think our kids should attend classes somewhere."
1. "Huh, we aren't allowed to have special athlete dorms? I guess we'd better close up the Washington County Jail." (Okay, that one is out of bounds, but I had to throw it in anyway.)

Sorry, wanted to turn this one into another top ten list but couldn't come up with enough ideas.