top ten bowl game names

I was thinking at work today -- something that rarely happens -- and got to wondering about bowl game possibilities. Some big names have already gone on the record as predicting the Razorbacks to make the BCS, and Rutgers just took sole possession of the Big East top spot by thumping Louisville. So here we have two very unlikely teams surprisingly close to a huge bowl berth. Is there anything that could be more freakish than those schools getting into the elite tier of postseason play?

Why, yes. What if they played each other? Now that would be wild on a whole new scale of weirdness. I know I've said this before, but I can say with absolute certainty that if such an event happens then the end times will most assuredly be upon us. Such a meeting would be so unusual and unlike anything before that the bowl game would deserve a new name. I mean, we already have names of the likes of Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl, MPC Computers Bowl, and San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl, so apparently no level of wackiness is off the table. The least we could do is give an Arkansas-Rutgers bowl a unique name that actually makes some sense and fits the occasion.

So, in the spirit of stupidly weird bowl names and comments sure to be mentioned with respect to such an occasion, I shall offer my ideas for bowl names via a Top Ten List. But, unlike the crazier names out there, mine will actually be relevant to the game at hand and would certainly be heard on the field or in the stands anyway. So, without further ado...

Top Ten Names for an Arkansas vs. Rutgers BCS Bowl
10. The "What the hell are they doing there?" Bowl
9. The "Whose luck will run out first?" Bowl
8. The "It's a good thing the (soon-to-be) Sharpe newlyweds aren't fanatical sports loyalists!" Bowl
7. The "Should we still buy off the zebras even if the other team sucks? Hey, it's worked all year!" Bowl
6. The "About time some academic schools made it big in football -- oh, well one did." Bowl
5. The "We've got your once-in-a-millennium event right here!" Bowl
4. The "Hey, ain't you supposed to be Rutgers? Well aren't you supposed to be Arkansas?" Bowl
3. The "This must be the Humanitarian Bowl!" Bowl
2. The "What's this little 'BCS' thing on our jerseys? Whose initials are those?" Bowl

And the number one name for a Hogs-Knights BCS matchup (drumroll)...

1. The "Civil War II: Forget the minor stuff, this is about FOOTBALL!!" Bowl