just in case the bible's not enough

Here's another reason to not get drunk:

Beer Revealed as Historic Female Plot

Yesterday, scientists suggested that, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer, men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.

The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and drinking it makes men turn into women.

To test the theory, 50 men were fed 6 pints of beer each within a one hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the men: talked excessively without making sense; became overly emotional; couldn't drive; failed to think rationally; argued over nothing; had to sit down while urinating; and refused to apologize when obviously wrong.

No further testing was considered necessary.

I also heard on the radio some months back that a similar study showed that, after consuming moderate amounts of beer, men displayed feminine characteristics more frequently. These included rambling incessantly about unimportant and unrelated topics, rearranging furniture in the room for no reason, and going to the bathroom in groups.

So that's two (presumably) independent studies that have confirmed the hypothesis that too much beer makes men act like women. See, folks, that's why you don't get drunk. Well, that and it's sinful. And it shows a complete lack of respect for self and those around you. And...