more on the anti-family courts

Vox is back on his marriage soapbox, though this time he seems to veer a bit off course. In continuing his crusade against the not-so-family courts, he posts a letter that goes through what has become an all too common experience. The part I like best is his opener:

"The reason men need to be far more careful about deciding to get married doesn't have anything to do with their feelings for a specific woman or even women in general. It has to do with the wisdom of voluntarily sticking your head into a quasi-legal system that is designed to destroy men and their families."

Preach on, brother. Sometimes I think I'm just overly cynical, but after reading enough horror stories and looking at what people I've known have been through, I actually think I'm right on this. Scary as that may be...and it ought to be I guess, but it's the truth. That's the country and the world we live in these days. Sometimes I really wish I were married and then I read stuff like this and...well, things could be much, much worse. And as Vox says, the powers that be aren't exactly getting more friendly toward us guys. [This is where you ask, "So why get a legal marriage license?" Ah, good question. Look a couple posts down.]

But VD then launches into a discussion on how to "protect yourself" in the unfortunate case that signs of a pending divorce begin to surface in your marriage. He even goes so far as to point out some signs to watch for. So, Vox, if things aren't going well husbands are supposed to give up on the marriage and start looking out for themselves first and foremost? Really? Where did you find that in the Bible? Maybe in Hosea...no? Well I guess mine doesn't have those pages. Or what about that "until death do us part" thing? Yeah, life's little commitments always seem to get in the way. Or maybe we are to assume marriage vows have some escape clause these days that lets one or both parties off the hook whenever they wish? Well, okay, this is the 21st century...but none of the ones I've heard say such things.

Seems to me that if you're in a marriage you're in, period. If it isn't going well then you do what you can to change that. A good place to start would be to seek God's will and chances are that's gonna rule out divorce. It's worth repeating that one should look hard at any potential spouse. And if the confidence and trust isn't there, better to suffer some pain now than tons more later.

Overall Mr. Day's post contains some wise words to live by but it's certainly not his greatest display of wisdom. Though since I have little experience with such matters (and zero firsthand) perhaps I should just leave them alone. But I've never been short on opinions and I'm not very good at keeping my mouth shut at the right times either. I do, however, need to get some sleep and hopefully pass an exam tomorrow. Enough for now, maybe more to come...?

UPDATE: Vox responds to similar comments. Some good points there and even some Scripture but I still disagree with him on the pursuing legal defenses part. Perhaps I'll write more on that later.